Existencial dilemma

One day in Paradise, Eve called God:

Eve: I have a problem.

God: What's the problem Eve?

Eve: I know you have created me, given me this beautiful garden, wonderful animals and a snake with whom I can laugh my ass out... but I am not entirely happy.
I am alone and I'm sick and tired of eating apples all day long.

God: Eve, in that case, I have a solution for you. I will create you a Man.

Eve: A man? what's that?

God: A man is an imperfect creature, with many glitches, that sometimes cheats, conceited... he will sure give you trouble. But he will be faster and stronger and he will like to hunt and kill stuff. He will have a simple aspect, but since you are complaining I will make sure he satisfies your needs. He will excel in childish stuff like kick a ball and he will need your constant advice to act accordingly.

Eve: sounds good (raising her eyebrow ironically). What's the catch?

God: you will have one condition. As he will be arrogant and narcicist, you will must make him think, I created him first.

Mother Nature's Adventures

They say no son/daughter comes with a instructions manual under the arm when they are born, they don't even come with bread, so you can't expect much... however it is true that when that baby is born, you automatically change your cassette, turn it to side B, rewind it to your childhood memories and BOOM! you have become a father... your own father... or someone elses... or sometimes the cassette is blank... because there is no real fatherhood memory to portray.

As your kids grow you start to wonder how is even remotely possible that child is still alive, specially when you caught them climbing a tall staircase with absolutely no protection, or how many time they have been bitten by mosquitoes, flees or any other weird insect... and when you have a daughter like mine... that can't stand still for 5 minutes (unless of course Barney is on TV) you really wonder... either mother nature loves jokes or she is making me pay for all the mischief I did during my life to my own parents.

No wonder my mom says that grandsons/granddaughters are "the revengers" because they make you pay all those little itsy bitsy things you thought you would get out with!



My cassette is somewhere in between... but I am starting to feel like my mom... hehehe I surprised myself telling Ana Paola the other day:

- "Young girl... do not talk to me like that because I am your mother and you must respect me!"
(Manuel started laughing his ass out...)
Ana Paola looked at me and said back:
- "Do you agree?"

Jokes... yeah mother nature is a killer joker!

Stubborn mind!

In Digs' honor

The Wife-Carrying Championship

SONKAJARVI, Finland (Reuters) - Finishing upside down clinging to a man's back may not be the most graceful way of winning gold, but it sure helped Sandra Kullas and Margo Uusorg to the world wife-carrying crown on Saturday.

Men raced along a 250-meter track, complete with pools and hurdles, with the men running or walking and carrying the women on their backs.

The winning Estonians received laptop computers and Kullas' weight, 49 kg, in beer.
(Reuters)

For some reason... I read this article and the only idea that crossed my mind at the time was "Devrim... Devrim... screwed up Devrim..." hehe I wonder why...

Unsensitive joke of the day

Ode to the geese!

Geese, dear geese thank you very much
for your feathers, their softness
for being so delicious to touch...

Geese, dear geese thanks for my pillow
for making it comfortable
and make me sleep like a willow

Geese, dear geese I will thank you once more
this time for my underbed matress
that I won because of the score.

I won a geese feathered underbed cover for my bed.
Thanks to all the geese for making it... and thanks
Portugal for making me win it! I love betting when I win it!

Some thoughts on personal grooming

I grew up as a very relaxed kid, teenager, etc... at some point I am not sure if I missed a part of my feminine life... or if I just decided not to pursue it because it would take just too much effort and I prefered to go to sleep.

However, in the life of every young woman (specially growing in latin america) there are many things you need to take into consideration before going out of your house... things such as:
- did I shave my legs?
- did I shave my underarms?
- are my earrings matching what I wear?
- are my shoes matching my pants or my shirt?
- am I wearing enough make up?
- did I cover that huge zit in my cheek with makeup?
- are my nails well done?
- should I wear polish or color?
- does this pant my make ass look big? do I want my ass to look big?
- are boobs looking even? should I accomodate them better?
- do I have facial hair?
- should I remove my facial hair?
- is my bikini line "in line"?
- razor, wax or laser?
- am I fat? does this clothes make me look fat?
- is it a bad hair day?
- loose or pony tail? blow dried or messy look?
- I STILL LOOK UGLY!!!!

Well, for some reason... 90% of this problems were not part of my life... took life as it came, wore makeup only for going out at night on weekends, shaved if I was going to wear skirts, and the rest... it just didn't exist.

10 years, 20 pounds and $500 dollars later... here I am... trying to "improve" my life style...
I just spent half of my salary in an entire laser treatment to permanently remove unwanted body hair throughout my body... YEAY no more shaving or waxing!!!!! (you are welcomed to ask...) pedicure, manicure and an entire set of hypoallergenic make up to complete it, together with a full month of massages to compliment all this grooming...

And guess what... life is exactly as it used to be... only a little bit more complicated... I believe I did need some grooming... oh women!